When Has Shouting at a Woman From a Car Ever Worked?

25 Mar

When is the last time a man successfully lured a woman over to his car by whistling or shouting? I recently shared this image I found on Facebook via the Everyday Feminism page and it reminded me that I wanted to cover this topic here on the blog. I can remember being cat called as early as age 12 — while walking across the street with my mother and younger sister. The person was either targeting my mom, me or all three of us. Disturbing.

Honestly, I don’t think the men who do this are extending a marriage proposal as the above ecard states, but they are trying to get a woman to go to them, right? I find cat calling to be insulting, humiliating and awkward. It feels like someone is randomly publicly slapping you in the face. That’s what it feels like to me. It’s disruptive.

I experienced being shouted at, whistled at, barked at — yes a grown man barked (woof, woof) at me when I was a teenager walking home from school. When is the last time a woman merrily skipped over to someone’s car after being barked at?

Once a white-haired old man slowly crept alongside me trying to lure me into his car as I walked to school for short flags practice. He could have been my grandpa. Disgusting.

More times than I can count, I endured cat calling as I innocently made my way to school each morning and then repeated the trek after school to go home. I’m not walking down the street for your pleasure and enjoyment. Leave me alone. I just need to get to school.

Even if my celebrity crush yowled at me from his car, I would still feel insulted. If you think I’m attractive and want my attention do it in normal gentleman-like way. The men that participate in this could be doing it as a joke, thinking it’s funny. Or they could seriously think they’ll attract a woman to sleep with them that way. I have no idea. Either way, it needs to stop. STOP.

I am a human. Women are people too. We are not here for you to throw degrading shouts, barks, and whistles toward. My existence is not a game.

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Why I Think Gardening Sucks

20 Mar

why i think gardening sucks grumpy catHappy first day of spring! It’s that time of year when flowers start to bloom and the California hillsides go from dried up yellow and brown to green. Well, that is if enough rain comes through. Anyway! I recently planted some calla lily bulbs in our front yard and it all just reminded me of how much I think gardening sucks. Although I do enjoy seeing colorful flowers and beautiful landscaping, I don’t have an intention of being the person to work on that project. That’s why we hired a gardener to come once a week and take care of it for us.

There is a very good reason for my disdain towards gardening. Remember when I wrote about growing up with parents afflicted by addiction disorder? When people are hooked on drugs they don’t think clearly. They latch onto certain concepts and become obsessive. That’s what happened to my ex-step-dad. He became obsessed with making me and my younger sister do yard work every weekend, winter break, spring break, summer break, and any other day off from school. We were 100% latch-key kids in those days and were given a list of tasks that needed to be completed.

Yard work I did included:

-Pull every single weed or green thing out of the rose bed. Roses and dirt only. One single bit of anything else was grounds for punishment.

-Trim the lawn around the brick with clippers or scissors.

-Weed out a 1 foot path around the perimeter of the front lawn. Dirt only, not a single scrap of lawn or weeds permitted. Use scissors or clippers to trim the edge.

-Pull each and every weed out from the cracks of the driveway using an old screwdriver. Sweep up any dust, dirt, leaves or debris caused by pulling weeds.

-Weed out every single bit of green from the trees. A 3-4 foot circle of dirt is only permitted around the trees.

-Dig a hole in the side backyard. Grind the dirt to a fine dust using a shovel. Put the refined dirt into a wheelbarrow. Use said dirt to cover gopher holes in the main backyard.

-Pull every single piece of grass or weeds from the patch of dirt under the apricot tree. Even pull the weeds from beneath the bushes that line the back fencing.

-Pull every single piece of grass or weeds from under the lemon/peach/avocado tree area and rake all the leaves. Only dirt and trees permitted.

-Use a wrench to remove welded on galvanized nuts and bolts from fencing.

-Dig a hole under the apricot tree at night with your sister to bury your beloved childhood dog. When an possum gets close and causes you to flee and seek your mom for comfort–suck it up and go back, keep digging your dog’s grave.

All this work was assigned at different times. If something was completed quickly, he would come out and inspect. He would use his jagged finger to point things out that I missed. “What’s this? What’s that weed over there? What about these leaves? You’re not done!”

Don’t come inside the house. Don’t get a drink of water. Work until it’s done. If you keep saying you are done and he keeps finding 1 leaf, 1 piece of untrimmed grass you are doing it on purpose to be a bad disobedient child. You are the only reason they ever fight.

Yard work was not assigned to make the house look nice. It was to keep us away. I quickly learned to not be fast and efficient. I hid books and small dolls in my bucket to help pass the time. Made up songs and poems to myself. Pull some weeds, read a chapter. Pull some more. Read another chapter. Keep your ears alert for footsteps. Don’t take up too much time but also don’t be quick. Make it believable.

His goal was to keep us outside as long as possible. I cut up my arms reaching around rose bushes to grab the tiniest little green thing. My fingers were banged up and I always had callouses on my hands from digging. I was afraid people would think I was self-harming because of all the cuts and scratches the rose thorns gave me. I was also not allowed to work with my sister. We were always in separate yards working away in the heat, in solitude. When I read the book Holes, I could relate to the story in a way.

So… That’s why I think gardening sucks. I will never be one to happily be digging away in the rose beds or tending to my tomatoes. I will never go pick berries for fun at a farm. My calla lilies however are starting to sprout. So that’s cool.

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Disneyland Birthday Trip + PinchMe Review

18 Mar

Yesterday while everyone celebrated St. Patrick’s Day we also celebrated my niece’s second birthday, or what I like to call “St. Sophia’s Day!” Last year her parents put on a huge rainbow themed bash and pulled out all the stops. This year, they went a bit more low-key and took her to Disneyland over the weekend. They extended the invite and we accepted. I absolutely love Disney and will not pass up an opportunity to visit the happiest place on Earth!

My sisters Jessica, Marina, my niece Sophia and me posing by the famous Mickey Mouse flowers.

My sisters Jessica, Marina, my niece Sophia and me posing by the famous Mickey Mouse flowers.

It’s awesome watching my niece enjoy the magic of Disneyland for the first time. I will never forget her squeal of excitement coming out of Roger Rabbit’s Car Toon Spin, or her big smile after going for a spin on The Mad Hatter’s Tea Party. She acted absolutely adorable when she had her one-on-one meet and greet with Mickey Mouse. I can’t wait to see what those photos look like. It was a great day and we were all exhausted and happy. Luckily, Sophia napped frequently and her parents kept snacks and water handy in between events so she was in good spirits throughout the day.

I also posted another video on my YouTube channel. This time it’s about this free sample service called PinchMe. Watch the video for all the deets and feel free to subscribe, new videos are posted every Sunday!

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Project Life + New Video

11 Mar

Last week was super busy for me and this week is just as busy. I didn’t update the blog last week but I don’t want to fall into the procrastination cycle so I’m setting aside time right now to just give a quick update! Work is busy and I was handed some copy writing and SEO writing assignments, along with my usual tasks I perform each week. My side copy writing gig is also gearing up with some extra unexpected work. I’m not complaining though, I like to stay busy and I like what I do. Getting paid to write is a dream come true!

Aside from all the work, I started a Project Life photo album. I first learned about Project Life from following blogger Kelly from Brownies and Zucchini. She is in her second year of Project Life and updates her blog regularly with her album pages. I went to Michael’s to pick up some photo albums for my wedding pictures (finally got them printed) and they were having a buy 1 get 1 free sale. That’s when I noticed the Project Life albums and remembered the Brownies and Zucchini blog posts about them. So I went home and did some research. Over the weekend I went back with a 40% off coupon in hand and got my first kit.

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I purchased 2 albums with the buy 1 get 1 free sale, a pack of photo pocket pages,  Project Life core kit Honey Edition, and a mini kit Holiday Edition. Project Life is a super simple way of scrap-booking your life. Some people document each week, the way Brownies and Zucchini does and others update it whenever. I’m choosing to update it casually and hope to fill up the album by the end of the year. There is not cutting, pasting, stickers, or any super creative genius required. You put the cards in the pocket pages and then your pictures. Use the journaling cards to add some written details. And you’re done!

Some people do choose to add extra embellishments and it looks great, but it’s just not for me. I tried scrap-booking once and it took me about two years to get around to completing the scrapbook. I never want to do that again! Now I have a simple and beautiful way to document our year instead of letting the photos just sit on my iphone and computer.

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I started my Project Life album with a layout depicting our trip to Las Vegas back in January. Whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas…so I don’t have any photos of the trip. Luckily a friend snapped a couple non-incriminating or embarrassing shots of the group and I used those in my album. 😉

Next, I created my THIRD YouTube video and it’s up on my channel! This one is a Mary Kay Haul and Review. I placed a large order with my friend who is a Mary Kay Consultant and decided to share it on my channel. I’ve seen other beauty and lifestyle YouTubers out there do this type of video so I gave it a shot. If you haven’t seen it yet, check it out below! I post new videos every Sunday so please subscribe to get an alert when a new video is posted.

That’s it for now, take care!

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Guess What, You Have The Power to Change Your Life

27 Feb

I am so happy to be an adult. I never want to go back to being a child. My childhood was filled with lots of rough patches so I would not want to repeat that experience. As an adult I have the power to change my life. I make the decisions about where I live, who I associate with, how much education I get and where I work. Guess what, if you are over 18 and reading this now YOU HAVE A CHOICE TOO! That’s the great thing about being a grown-up. You are not helpless. I strongly believe, where there is a will there is a way. There is always a way.

It doesn’t matter how much money your parents have or how much money you have. It doesn’t matter where you live. All that matters is that you set your mind to a specific goal and stick to it! Nothing worthwhile is going to happen over night. You need to be patient and put in the hard work. You will struggle. You will feel like giving up. You will come so close to quitting. But, you will find the strength to push on and get to where you want to be.

I believe everyone should educate themselves after high school. You don’t have a high school diploma? That’s okay. You can still be successful. You can get a GED. Even if you don’t get your GED you can still teach yourself certain skills and get a decent, comfortable office job.  You will then use your typing skills (you will learn from free online typing lessons), customer service experience (from your retail and fast food jobs), and organizational talents to become the best receptionist/office manager/customer service rep that company ever hired. You know how I know? I’ve seen it happen right before my eyes to someone close to me. Sure, working an office job isn’t saving lives and isn’t the most thrilling way to spend your time. However, you are helping a company succeed, helping the economy and you have money in your pocket to put gas in the car, food on the table and send your kid to school with new shoes. That sounds like a good life.

You get to define what success means. Success does not always mean becoming filthy rich and having a couple master’s degrees on your wall. It means whatever you wish it to mean! To not struggle with debt, own a car free and clear and be a homeowner one day. That’s a fabulous goal. Do what you need to do to positively get there.

Everyone should learn how to do something productive and be an expert at it and excel at it. Learn how to fix cars, auto body repair, fix airplanes, give facials, cut hair, build houses, install solar panels, fix plumbing…there is a way to educate yourself. Once you have the knowledge you can go out there and find a good stable job. You can work your way up to management. One day you may even run your own auto body repair shop.

Education does not always mean a traditional four-year university. It means going to a two-year college. Going through a certificate program. Taking typing classes and Microsoft office program classes at the rec center. It means showing up at a Veterinarian’s office and saying, “My only experience is being a dog catcher but I want to continue working with animals.” And that doctor taking a chance on you and teaching you everything you ever needed to know about being Vet Tech on the job. Look at that, fully trained and experienced working with something you love and you didn’t have to pay a dime for college. You paid with your time, hard work and perseverance. (My mom did that.)

You can’t just think about the present. Okay so today, getting drunk or messing with drugs, partying a handful of days each week sounds like a blast. But where is that getting you? Are you spending the little bit of money you have wisely? What decisions are you making today that will benefit your future? Where is the party when you are 60 years old, not as healthy as you once were and have a couple kids maybe, and you have no retirement fund and no way to help your kids go to college or whatever it is they want to pursue. How are you helping the cycle?

I am not perfect. I don’t know everything. We all make mistakes and bad decisions. I have absolutely made some very bad decisions in my life. But I learned from it and made damn sure not to repeat it again. I know there are unexpected things that happen in life that change everything. So it’s a change of plans. Everyone has a story. We are all faced with adversity and have our own issues. Don’t let it stop you! Be better for yourself. Take care of you today so the you of the future is living well. Healthy, happy, and not burdened by the past.

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